About Love Relationships and
Couple Consultations
Love
The relationship with a life partner is very important to most people. It is a deeply human need to be connected to each other, to be special to him or her and to give and receive love.
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That does not alter the fact that it is not at all self-evident to build, maintain and navigate a meaningful relationship through the ups and downs of life. 'Love' needs attention because love requires respect, understanding, conflict resolution, loyalty, freedom, and mutual personal development.
Couples in motion
People are always changing: thoughts and feelings, and also needs, desires, goals and the way we view ourselves and the world around us are constantly in motion. Your partner is influenced by yours and reacts in his or her way. And of course, he or she also is interested in their own personal growth. Being in a relationship we are confronted with desires (and fears) for intimacy and connectedness, and with feelings of dependence and independence, sexuality, anger, power and powerlessness, self-actualization and life goals, etc. Moreover, the strength and flexibility of the relationship is challenged by the demands coming from work and working conditions, career, social role expectations, parenting, illness, stress, financial capacity, age, unpleasant events… so by life itself!
Couples in crisis
Ups and downs in a partner relationship are normal. However, it becomes difficult if it is the relationship that causes a lot of stress. This shows when the relationship is plagued by too much anger and criticism or too much distance and emotional withdrawal. It is then no longer possible to communicate with each other in such a way that one's own needs are clearly conveyed and understood.
There is work to be done. The balance between love and anger, closeness and distance is lost. Extra attention for each other is desperately needed. Crisis situations are devastating, but if you as a couple overcome them your relationship will get deepened and enriched.
Couples in therapy
If the partner relationship is burdened by too many problems, people do experience mental stress. This can manifest itself in various complaints such as feelings of sadness and loneliness, anxiety, and physical symptoms such as headaches, sleep disorders or concentration problems, problems with the children, etc. It is important not to walk around with it for too long. Couple consultations surely can be helpful. As your therapist or coach my attitude is engaged but ‘neutral’, showing understanding for the feelings and perspectives of both of you. The main goal of the therapeutic process is to restore feelings of connection, openness, interest, and desire for one another. You will learn to resolve conflicts effectively, to listen to each other respectfully and without reservations, and to feel and show interest in each other. When real contact between you is possible again, problems can often be overcome much more easily. In some cases divorce may be necessary. I can also support you here so that this painful process is carried out as respectfully as possible.
You will benefit from Couple Consultations
under the following circumstances
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Your communication style is not effective, or even destructive.
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You miss intimacy (including sexuality) within your relationship.
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You are dissatisfied with the roles within your relationship.
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Problems with the children put a strain on your relationship.
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There are conflicts surrounding the desire to have children.
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You are confronted with stressful circumstances, and you cannot work it out together.
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Your (in-law) family has too much influence on your relationship.
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Certain behaviours of yourself or your partner put a strain on the relationship.
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The experience of cheating or other situations of betrayal are a burden to your relationship.
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You need help to limit arguments and aggressive behaviour.
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Emotional distance and withdrawal of one or both of you create stress.
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Work issues seem to conflict with a satisfying relationship.
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You feel inferior and powerless to your partner.
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You are burdened by the necessity to support your partner.
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You want to separate and want to get this done in the best possible way.
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You want to give the relationship another chance.
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You want to rediscover your love for each other.
